In late July, throughout the countryside, the sweet smell of corn pollen fills the air with the promise of the harvest, foretelling the eventual fruition of the summer’s labor and the relentless work of sun, soil, water, and air. And with it, the browning of autumn, the pulling in and the loss that comes with the winter, the dying of the corn, the disappearance of the birds, the bare limbs of the trees. But in this moment, standing at the edge of a corn field in the middle of the day, a breeze lilts through the leaves, and I hear their susurration while green pulses everywhere.
The sun warms my back through my shirt. I am here, it says, I am real. Humidity clings to everything, the dew soaking the grass until the afternoon, sweat soaking my shirt in just a few minutes outdoors. Heat boils off the hood of the slow-moving tractor as I steer the cultivators down the rows of crops, shirt open to catch any slight breeze, straw hat perched to maximize the flow of air past the crown of my head. Moving the tractor around the farm comes as a relief, and I occasionally stand up as I drive from field to field to take full advantage of the breeze.
The distant songs of birds in the woods carry through the moisture-laden air like calls from some far-away exotic land, while the croak of a bullfrog provides a bass note that would be easy to miss if I were paying less attention. I find it hard to believe that in just a few months, even the songs of birds will sound different. For now, though, flocks of birds are everywhere. I drive by fields of swathed oats filled with lanky black grackles. On the farm and beside the road, hundreds of swallows load down the electrical wires, their breasts flashing white in the sunlight as I drive by.
Thunderstorms roll through regularly, illuminating streaks and flashes of light bringing beauty to the night. Yet in that beauty lies their terror, that those streaks and flashes, along with their accompanying wind and rain and hail, will tear apart, subsume, and carry away that which we think we know, and that which we hold dear.
In the prairie plantings that dot the neighborhood, and in the ditches beside the road, a riot of white carrot flowers, lavender bergamot, yellow black-eyed Susans and prairie sunflowers, and pale blue wild chicories combine to capture the colors of the sky just before the dawn. Even as the buds of late July celebrate life and beauty and fertility, the flowers from just two weeks ago have begun to fold into themselves, to drop their petals and begin turning sunlight into small brown seeds to carry them through the winter.
In late July, my heart swells each day with grief for the loss foretold by the headiness of summer, yet fills with gratitude for the beauty the year has already brought, the daily accumulation of the crops, the continued miracle of breath and water.

